Don't give up.

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Oh, of course not! I do hope no one thinks I am even close. I am a tough, leathery, old bugger who likes to occasionally indulge his weak side.

Your pal,
Danny

Thank you so much for sharing! I love everything you say here about the power of our perceptions. Of course, my first thought is "that's easy for Danny to say, because he's so cool and talented." But then my second - or maybe third - thought is that is so very true for all of us. Good luck getting through the project - I'm sure it will turn out even better than you imagine!

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I remember my mum telling me, :"Danny, one thing you'll never be is cool." I have always lived with that as a given,
Your pal,
The Fonz.

Danny,

Is it possible that maybe this isn't the job for you? If you keep following your heart and doing what you love, surely it will support you. Life is too short to work in a job that causes so much stress. I adore your books and your drawing and you are a huge inspiration to me and yes, it's good to see your human side! I would re-think the job situation.

----

You may well be right. Unfortunately, my a¢¢ountant disagrees. Who am I to argue?

Your pal,
Danny

When your draw, you say, your mind sits at your elbow. When I write (I am a writer; I do not draw), a crow sits on my shoulder.We go on anyway, as best we can. Sounds like you can get your mind to cooperate most of the time. You say you "indulge your weak side." Self doubt and unhappiness are "weak?" Now about that crow. . .

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I love that image of a crow. Caw, caw.
And you are right. One of my weakness is my fear of weakness. I am a big tough guy not a whimpering weakling. ROAR! Koff, koff. Caw.
Your pal,
Danny

Wow! Danny this post illustrates beautifully how we all feel at times; the doubts, the fear of rejection or failure, the uncertainty of the end result..
But you show that negativity can be turned around and be 'useful' in its way. My favourite part is the concept of living in the 'now'.
Bravo!
Good Luck with your project. I think it will turn out better than you can envision at the moment. Hang in there!

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I hope you are right, Bonny. I know it will turn out well. But is that enough?

Your pal,
Danny

This is exactly what I needed to read in this exact moment to keep me moving forward on a challenging assignment
where I, too, find my ego questioning and judging my abilities every step of the way. Thank you for renewing my courage.
We are never alone in this journey of learning what it means to be human!!!

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I am so lucky to have so many good friends, including the virtual ones!
Thank you, Mary,

Your pal,
Danny

danny that is the most poetic thing i have read from you as yet. hope it all works out ok and none of your illness es are real in anyway.
i just got back from having a much needed stiff drink and opened your email. me someone who as of late doesn't need stiff drinks too much lately. well tonight after reenterring the artscnene in LA, i had my first opening to attend where my work was included in a group show, a stiff drink was called for indeed.
the show has a great title- "warnings shouldnt be pleasant. "
i dropped my low standards of what it take s for me to consign work away and participated. that is a preface to the story- my standards to lend my work to an exhibition are 1. the dealer or curator must treat me with respect. 2. the work must be signed for and insured.
in this case i let go of standard two so when i got to the exhibition a few minute s early and the curator said he was sorry but he didn't have time to make the check list i was dumfounded. what that meant was i got what i deserved. i had lowered my bar yet again and had encompasses the biggest insult in all my 20 years as a professional artist. there was zero recognition of my work, the price, the title , medium nothing. just hodpog of highly uneven work hanging in a small college in culver city, some of the work didn't even match the them of the show. some of the work was just pure crap to boot.
the curator kept in character- a postive, he staid the pleasant guy i thought he was and when i told him it wasn't cool not to have the list- and we should write a handwritten list- he declined but sent me to a computer room where i could print up at least something to identify my work.
it was the debut of the work i have been shooting in new orleans. on the one hand the work speaks for itself- though it doesn't tell you my name... however to fact the images are from new orleans post katrina and that they are not from shortly after the hurricane but from late 2006 and early 20007 add valuable weighty context to the work. anyway i left off the individual tittles to the 9 photos but typed out my name and critical info came back to the show and thumbtacked it to the wall. within minute of posting my text and artist indentification, i opened up a very probable possibility to having a one person show at UCLA's museum. the curator had looked at the images pre me posting the sign and came to the conclusion they were staged shots and was flabbergasted to find out they were hand held shots of new Orleans hot off the press. he wanted to know if i have more. with me more is never an issue!
His take on the curator not putting up a list of who did what, was to call the act unconscionable. just how i fealt with out having the right work to utter.
my night tonight could have gone either way. i am still a bit in shock from the experience. i have steep goals and i am going after them like a mountain climber goes toward the top of mount Everest. better to see the positive in every situation if you can. that you, danny, can pull off the commercial shit is amazing! . i hope to too. i will need a money transfusion soon and lets face it not much cash in the art market except for a very select few! you do what ever it takes to care for the people you love and keep a pen in your pocket ready to draw. the pen will forever forgive your absence!
signing off, Julie
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Hi Julie:
Your story is a powerful testament to the influence of serendipity and the importance of staying positive, open, and reserving judgement. You are a fabulous artist and a sensitive person and though the world can be a harsh place you will get the acknowledgment you deserve.
I look forward to seeing more of your New Orleans work. And I will always be grateful to you for the pleasure you art has brought me and the inspiration your example has served.
Your pal,
Danny

Wow - thanks for sharing your soul Danny! What a brave thing to do. I really like what you say about judgements - when I'm listening to them far too much I try to remind myself that the judgements will soon be forgotten, but the thing I created - the drawing, writing, whatever - will still be there. Even if I, or someone else, doesn't like it today, maybe they will tomorrow or next week or next year. I'll probably never know anyway, so what really matters is whether or not I gained anything while creating....

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That's an excellent perspective. I always find consolation in looking back at my work over the years. Unless, of course, my buddy, the judge, hops up and starts critiquing how I used to draw ....

Your pal,
Danny

Yup! We are the sum of our parts - and it's foolish to deny the light of day to those 'other' bits of us - otherwise they just get louder and louder whilst hammering to be let out!!!

The thing to acquire is the knack to restoring equilibrium - which is usually closer and easier to regain than we think. Everyone's trick or knack will be different... you seem to have yours sorted - just use it sooner young man!! - before stomach ulcers, parkinson's, diabetes and knee replacements have a chance to get their grip!!!!!! :0)

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Fortunately, my only reccuring condition so far is hypochondria! But I'll heed your advice and try to chill.
Your pal,
Danny

yep....interesting creatures aren't we?

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Indeed.

Your pal,
Danny

SO RIGHT ON, Danny! Some days just stink --- until we can get our minds, thoughts, energy re-focused. BRAVA for doing so!

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And today is better.

Your pal,
Danny

I figure the best time to worry about stuff is when I'm dead :)

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I hope I live that long.

Your pal,
Danny

I know this is really self-centered, but you can't imagine how much better I feel when I find that others struggle with self doubt, feat, anxiety, etc! I usually chalk it up to artist temperament. Thanks for being so open with us.

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Please, feed on my pain. Or else what purpose could it have?

I agree, there's nothing like some one else's self-pity to put one's own in perspective. The old, " I I was sad cause I had no shoes until Imet a man who had no spats" sort of thing.

Your pal,
Danny

"The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts."
A quotation from somewhere that REALLY helped me during a particulary difficult time in my life.

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Yes, we make our own reality. As the Buddha said " Pain is inevitable, sufferting is optional"

Your pal,
Danny

Dear Danny, The cartoon is you telling you you need to take a walk even if it is at night. I used to do all day school visits as a visiting artist. If I had a 15 minute break, I would take a walk outside the building, rain or shine. If I stayed in the teacher's lounge I got like you seem to be just now. Someone has faith in you and that entire crew. It will be fine.

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I wondered what that cartoon meant. I love your interpretation. Unfortunately in LA, nobody walks anywhere. Particularly at night.

Your pal,
Danny

oh, ya know the guy you're working with who can't get past page two of your book? Give him the Korean version.

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I like that idea.

Oddly. so many people assume it was a man. But it was actually a woman in her 50s. I find that odd too.

Your pal,
Danny

We are not "wholly" the substrate, but we are also what is etched upon it, and what it lies upon.

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I like the sound of that.

Your pal,
Danny

Hello Danny,
Thanks for indulging your weak side to us as you mention previously. Sorry to hear you're going through a difficult project. It astonishes me that you had taken the time out of your busy schedule to write such an incredibly profound post. When it comes to stress and self-doubt, I think most of us who have worked in the office environment at one time or another can relate to the difficulties that come with meeting deadlines, coworker issues, etc. What's worse is wondering whether our efforts will be rewarding in the end. Most of us know too well the nature of distraction when we consider what other people think of us. Do we or can we meet their expectations to the fullest? If not, what are we doing wrong and how can we correct it? For that matter, should we care?

Although it sounds trite Danny, try to think positive. Affirm in your mind that everything will work out right in the end. As seen in your little comic strip here, think the world is beautiful! And should all else fail, just remind yourself that you had given it all your best. Good luck . . . not that you really need it!

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I believe in the power of the positive ( though I thought "The Secret" was utter horse shit in a very expensive 4-color package).

And as for taking the time to write this, I am so glad I did. All of the wonderful comments from people have made the burdens lift from my shoulders like departing crows.

Your pal,
Danny

Had we known, we'd have kidnapped you for the sketchcrawl in La Jolla where seal pups played in the water while their parents sunned themselves on the beach. OK, got the idea? Be the seal. Lots of responsibility, but you've been a champ before, and you will again. Good luck.

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Arf, arf,

Your pal,
Danny

If you're in Cali, those headaches and body aches might just be real. I've been experiencing horrible allergy symptoms for the last couple of weeks. However, fears and stress may be intensifying the effects.

Take care of yourself and thanks for the reminder to live in the present. I need it often.

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That's scary. I wish I was back in the clean, pure country air of Manhattan.

Your pal,
Danny

I lurve this . . . a cartoon where your judgment walks in on you, demands that you "Be beautiful . . . or be gone!" and then a rambling post on the nature of judgment and its black and white vision of the world, its demands that cannot be met, and the work it takes to get up and walk away from that shrill little voice.

You are beautiful, Danny. Especially under the California moon with a Heineken.

Spike

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I'll drink to that.

Your pal,
Danny

I lOVE YOU!!! Not in some psycho stalker-chick kind of way!! Just in the, I can sooo relate and here is this person, who is able to eloquently put into words what I myself feel so much of the time, and in a way I could never coherently put on the page. You're an inspiration and one of the lifelines in my lettuce leaf!!!

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I love you too. Just don't tell my wife.

Your pal,
Danny

Danny: Just want you to know I just finished a much earlier book of yours, Hello World, having just passed my technical license.

Your ability to give joy to others is almost magical. So, as a recipient of this joy, I thank you, and will thank you more by getting out tomorrow during the 13th Sketchcrawl and paying attention to NOW.

Pica/Alison/KI6IMU

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Have a great time at the 'crawl!

73,
KC2KGT

Dear Danny--I read all your postings with great interest but rarely comment. However I loved your posting about states of mind and perception so much I had to share these thoughts I originally read in a book by Pema Chodron. To paraphrase: We all want the shining golden path with heart and what we get is usually the falling down with mud in our face path. Chodron runs a monastery in Nova Scotia. She says you finally land a great cook and the bookeeper quits. You get a new bookeeper and the power goes out and all the food rots in the freezer. You get a good cook, a great bookeeper, a new freezer, and all of a sudden half the monks and nuns leave, Life is just plain inconvenient! Its stressful and its just one thing after another down here with the mud in our faces but this is where we have to do it. And as soon as we really look at that, and get it, the sun comes out. I just love what you wrote because its in the same vein, and its so honest and authentic. We're just here to be us, and you are so good at being you--what an inspiration you have been to me and many others. Thanks for this posting. As for the guy who couldn't see the Danny he was looking at in the book? Get some help for him! He needs a better lens! Ellen

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Thanks for your warm comment, Ellen.

The funny thing about having aphilosophy is how often you have to remind your self you have one. Mine is supposedly about seeing the beauty in the everyday, the blessings counted, and yet, when the shit hits the fan, I can forget. Thanks for the reminder and the lovely andecdote. I shall look for Pema's book and meanwhile wear the mud in my face with pride.

Your pal,
Danny

After reading your latest post, it brought to mind something I read recently, "Solvitur Ambulando". This is a Latin phrase, supposedly used by Chatwin which means, "It is solved by walking".
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In LA, unlike my home town, no one seems to walk anywhere. I did so on a hotel treadmill for the first time in my life and felt a right ass.
But I get your (and Bruce's) larger point and I'm strapping on my shoes.
Your pal,
Danny

Danny--

When I fell severely ill three years ago from yet another complication of a long-standing blood-clotting disorder, I decided that I would be open and honest with everyone I knew or met in the hopes that the hell I'd gone through would somehow give people permission to open up and share themselves.

It was one of the most important decisions I've ever made, and what I found was that, at the end of the day, what we all really want is to feel the oneness that we all know is fundamentally there, but which we too rarely reach out for.

Writings like these are precious, and I wish you the best in finding even more peace than what this writing seems to have already brought you.

Believe me, I've been through things that I never could have even imagined existed...the level of physical pain a body can achieve, and the level of mental pain our brains can create. By comparison, the blood clots and hemorraghing and months-at-a-time hospital stays were nothing compared to full-blown depression I experienced, brought on by what at the time seemed to be incurable pain that I'd have to endure for the rest of my life. The spiritual questions that raised are too deep to go into here, but it sounds like you're asking questions that are similar, and bravo to you for sharing them with us all.

I must echo the one suggestion another poster made, which is that perhaps you should switch jobs, or at least begin thinking about it. During my ordeal, I realized that pain and agony had been a long-time companion in my life, and it's been a challenge to let them go. I mean, who am I without those things? Believe it or not, happiness is often a decision, not necessarily one can make in the moment, but certainly in the long haul.

For example, do you define your identity, your self-worth, with this job, even though you can hate it so much sometimes? Or do you define yourself by the amount of money you make? Can you imagine who you'd be without these things? Does it frighten you a little to even consider it? If so, perhaps that's where your answers lie. Fear can often be the best guide we have.

You don't have to answer, of course. These are just rhetorical questions...just food for thought, and I apologize in advance if I'm way off track.

But all I can say is that I lost every penny I ever had in getting sick, along with a music career, and I really had to reassess who I truly was, a challenge that is ongoing. While the learning curve on this never ends, particulary now that after three years I'm *finally* feeling somewhat better (who am I if I'm not a sick person?...that's another scary question!), I'm happy that these self-imposed definitions have been, and continue to be, stripped away, as I'm left with the essence of me, and that's it. Just me. Ack!

It's scary I'll admit, but I'm experiencing feelings of happiness lately...a lightness of being...that I didn't think was possible. I dare say I couldn't have imagined it.

Love and prayers go out to you, my friend, as your exciting life journey contines. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Your pal,
maffy

Danny, Sorry to hear you are having a DREADFUL week. I'm sending you good thoughts and an idea. Maybe you could see part of a really funny DVD at the beginnig or end of the day.I've asked my family to recommend some for you:
Airplane, Mash, Blazing Saddles
Rob Riners 2000 Year Old Man(Probably on itunes) puts me on the FLOOR. This is audio only so portable. Maybe you could bottle it and add it to the water on the set.

You can only do what you can do when you can do it. Fitting in all the rest of life is what is hard. Take a big breath and do what you can do. Deborah

Dear Danny,
I send you positive thoughts and healing energy ~ thank you for sharing, your honesty and your open heart! There are some insightful comments here that are courageous and inspiring. I hope you find the answers you seek - sometimes, it's not just those answers that allude us, but what questions should we ask! I have posted my heartfelt feelings about overcoming feelings that overwhelm me on my blog (http://e14stuio.blogspot.com) as I am just now peeking my head above the dark cloud that I was in for a month.... I send you light! ~Sharon

Dear Danny,
First of all, thank you for your courage in sharing the side that seems weak, dark, and debilitating. It actually takes a very strong person to do that. I'd like to thank you, too, for all that you have given through your blog, your books, and your lessons. I always look forward to your latest post.
Now, if I could give you a little gift back, I would suggest that you might like to practice yoga. It can help you focus on the positive aspects of your body and health. It helps you relax and be in the moment (like the zone you can get in when in the middle of a drawing). You can learn to appreciate all that your body does for you rather than looking for its malfunctions. Also, you can do it in a hotel room before and after a stressfilled day. It really works and it may bring you comfort.
Thank you again for your generosity and best wishes for brighter days ahead.

The power of the written word, amazingly simple yet eloquent at the same time. Your description of hypochondria has a touch of familiarity in it covered by a veil of determination to conquer, all of which I too have felt. You are definitely in a stressful situation but I trust you will rise to the occasion and come through it shining.

Best to you,

Maggie

Dear Danny,

1st -- I loved every day matters. I still re - read it frequently. It got me drawing again.

2nd -- The guy who doesn't understand your book. Maybe you should point him to some of the people who were inspired by your book to put their art on websites?

3rd-- I am solitary. Don't like to work with other people. Sometimes have too.
Lots of artists are that way. It can get very stressful. Just remember to be nice to Danny.

4th-- If you can't manage a 5 mile walk, maybe just 1 mile at lunchtime? Or 10 minutes?

Love your work,

Nan

Hi Danny - you're human after all. What a relief!

Hey Danny,
Thank you for sharing such an honest and open piece of you and letting us realise that someone of your success and talent can also feel like the rest of us! Gives me hope anyway.
Also let me say a big 'yay' to the interview for illustration friday. Tres cool.
X

Oh, that's your problem...you're in California. (I say this as someone born & raised there- trust me, you are not the only one in this state with the dark swirlings going on! California gives me the worst headaches.)
Lovely post today- a really nice reminder that we can control our perceptions. Keep on sharing what you see with the rest of us- you help keep me bright & to keep on creating things!

Far out - isn't it amazing where our heads can take us!! I admire your honesty Danny. Hope a night's sleep got you back on track. Can I suggest a walk a day, to get some sanity back. Take care huh?

Oh did I need to read this! Working with a sticky friend as client design issue right now. Or am I? Right now I am really thinking of a very helpful post by one Danny Gregory and wondering if my Lush bath bombs have expired...